There was a scattering of storms the brief respite they were witnessing today joked about promising of the next front. She was wearing a robe over her pajamas and asked if she looked like her mother. He said yes as she sat in his lap. He felt an insistence to change the subject though follow the same line of reasoning without really thinking about it. He found that was served best by not using logic for that only led to death and he wanted to reveal her feelings. Her sister thought it was about justice but that was handled by a scale the person holding it can’t see. Maybe the passing storms outside would help distract them from that distract them from what they wanted so they could find what they needed. What he needed in them.

Why don’t we get some fresh air?

Their feet danced over the puddles by his back door. Her sister saw it was raining on the tin roof of his patio and didn’t stay outside long, but he lingered with her just a moment longer just long enough for them both to see it. To him it almost looked like the linked hyphae of fungi in the sky illuminated under a microscope. She turned to him her eyes bright.

Did you see it?

Ya I saw it.

He waited for a moment but it didn’t happen so he said to her:

You see the light before you hear the sound. Light travels faster than sound. You can even count the seconds and calculate how far away it is.

She asked him to hold her up like maybe that would bring her closer to it, but it still took quite some time before they heard the thunder. And he knew why he cried sometimes. It wasn’t sadness. It wasn’t joy. It was more like a deep connection to what made him himself and when he saw it the tears were a response to his own self-love.

They went back inside and it didn’t take long until they were fighting again and maybe she was provoked maybe she felt like it was the only way to protect herself but it wasn’t long before her sister came to him again with scratches. He called her name, but she was hiding. Like a moment of sickness which passes she peered out and came smiling sheepishly to the crook of his finger. She sat in his lap again and defended herself. When he told her her punishment she tried to rebel by going to Netflix until he took the remote away. Then she did the strangest thing. She took a chair and faced it in the corner and sat in it.

I didn’t say you have to sit in the corner.

I knew you would come talk to me.

I don’t want you to be sad. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just can’t hurt people without hurting yourself. Would you rather I gave up on you?

No, that’s why I knew you’d come talk to me.

Yes, and what you know doesn’t come from up there from what you saw in the sky it comes from in here what you hear in your heart. It’s funny about which one’s really faster.

She wanted him to come talk to her. His ex-wife. It happened over Memorial Day weekend.

Jason Akley

May 30 at 1:06pm ·

I’m truly not making this shit up what do you think I should do should I just wash my hands of it?

p1

Girl by the whirlpool looking for a new fool, he thought… I will say this as a veteran about memorial day proud people piss me off it’s been my own downfall many times and if there’s anything I’ve learned from it your own mirror destroys you until you see the mirror, laugh, and don’t forget when you walk away. It makes the dead happy.   For it’s not just the Bible that says I will heap burning ashes of coal on their heads and the East says do nothing—yes, he thought, and he might have been the crazy guy set up to look like he was scaring his kids but she had to live there and laughter becomes a sigh and then a stillness… It started when she decided to put on a drama show as he tried to pick up the girls so in front of all her neighbors she asked if he had something to say to her and he said ya I’m a big fucking dick needless to say when cops were threatened of being called he just said fuck it made sure they had his license plate told them where he lived that he worked for the VA and was a disabled veteran just trying to pick up his daughters on his weekend and left.

It all started with this text (well, maybe a little bit earlier—he’d been planning to tell this story for some time the story his daughter was waiting to hear a story about this boy who they were going to mourn and though he wasn’t really sure how he died he had a pretty good idea and that’s what he wanted to tell her he didn’t want to destroy her he wanted to destroy her pride it came from his father, who was a sensitive man who sometimes should’ve kept his mouth shut…). Every story is an evolution beginning with an idea something a character a conflict an itch you wanna scratch then you come up with a structure the bones on which to add the meat and you can take all kinds of credit for this and pat yourself on the back for your talent but the curiosity which makes it become alive is the improvisation which follows hastened by a weird guidance for which you can’t take credit a seeking after a neutrality a balance if you will because he knew this boy a boy he met at Freedom Farm when he was maybe twelve or thirteen he saw his family circumstances how his innocence was really taken away from him and a part of him wanted justice for his death but you can’t really destroy bad things all you really do in the process is destroy yourself and he was in no rush and he was just interested to see what happened because you can think you know how it ends and have no fucking idea how you’ll get there:

p2

What promises never to be tame still wants you to find it beautiful when you look upon it and love is a smoky deal of offers and counter offers each person looking to hold on to their esteem it’s fun to reveal evil like a woman who would withhold a veteran’s children on memorial day weekend who feels threatened seeing her own self-love shown to her and part of the story is accepting how his children would have to suffer no matter how much he tried to protect them… It was time to call the bitch out and if the children got fucked in the process so be it he was the only thing that was keeping it pure for there’s a way it should be and the way it fucking is in this case a woman was unhappily married with a ten year old daughter went to community college to get skills and also meet a man first she tried to seduce her chemistry professor then later she wrote a lame poem to him he was lonely and naïve liked the attention they had an affair she laughed with her sister about robbing the cradle did a mind job on him he tried to kill himself but he got a job so she could quit hers she got divorced they married she got pregnant within six months saying shit like she didn’t mean to he was trying to write struggling going from job to job while she didn’t work gets pregnant again finally has enough as the finances all go to hell they divorce she moves for a job he finds a job at the VA close by she gets fired within the first month and then for three years she lives off his child support food stamps and all the other things he pays for and becomes his whore who prides herself in not putting out too much… that’s pretty much the story until he finally told her to fuck off she gets a job but wants to use him as a bitch for a babysitter the Friday before Memorial Day weekend she was at his door at 5:40 am to drop off the girls saying no one asked him to have a job where he didn’t get off til midnight but all of sudden it’s a done deal with her neighbors to watch them now because she provoked a scene when he pissed her off with the text about her no show his last weekend with them not using the last of her food stamps to get steaks but instead deciding to go to a Christian concert where she left her phone the civic center calling him the children already asleep him promising to tell her before she went to church the next morning without them… this was just scratching the surface he planned to go much deeper…

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