ELECTRA

Don’t you live your life like there’s someone watching?

CARTER

Of course… the first word you taught me to say was Jesus.  Now who I imagine loves me differs with days and moods.  Besides you only really pay attention to people you hate.

ELECTRA

It’s your soul, Carter. Don’t you care about your soul?

CARTER

I will not raise my children like that. Fear religion the military what I grew up in. You loved me and you tried to shelter me I get that, but one day I had to venture out into the world. And do you know what the world does to naïve people?

ELECTRA

I know what it does. I was raised in church. I was always awkward as a child…

CARTER

Well I’m breaking the curse…

It looks like they haven’t eaten in days. That’s why you want to watch why you watch Carter watch the TV having a gentle conversation with his mother on mother’s day for a moment you see him being dropped off by the Cadillac saying his goodbyes to ex-wife and children as she goes to see her mother the knock on the door his mother opening it and smiling and after seeing the everglades and a remote island the desert terrain seems the harshest in which to survive—some godforsaken place in Madagascar—Carter is watching a naked man and woman live in a cave it had to be cleared of spiders there were black widow nests which at first the woman doesn’t want to eradicate she doesn’t like that word she’s a tree-hugging hippie as the stereotypes fly upon first meeting and he’s a Mormon who prays every morning believing we were meant to dominate land and animal but after a night with the feeling of something crawling all over her she helps him burn them out and they haven’t eaten for days Carter watches in amusement as the man tries to harvest a lizard from under a rock hours of labor passed over in seconds on the TV screen and when he’s finally able to pinch it out by the tail he bites the head off… You can tell by his face by the moments he shares eye contact with his mother they are having a very relaxing time sitting in the patio his father built waiting on his ex-wife and his children and the Cadillac to return.

CARTER

I lost something I don’t know when but eventually guilt set in I thought I was alone in it and with it crept in my mortality how souls do die here then anger started every sin as I sought again my immortality a place where the soul of man never dies…

ELECTRA

… if you just give your heart over to Jesus…

CARTER

… but the world’s eternity eventually just becomes names for certain centuries the entropy and whimper of oblivion… Everybody talkin’ ‘bout heaven ain’t goin’ there.

ELECTRA

Aren’t you scared what happens when you die?

CARTER

Well I know tryin’ to plead with it like it’ll go out of its way to show me some common courtesy is probably a waste of time…

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