and they say knowledge is power

so this is how I would end it… I see him—the father. And it can be the man imagined in V’s video diaries or the man sitting across from Pastor Mike or just imagine whatever you like with this voice but I see him I see him in the snow (because it’s nearing Christmas again as it should for the title and a spring and a summer and the fall have passed and you see this in the water how the water flows or is frozen in places like Burden Falls and how are those fairways after the summer months will the grass be green again this the span of writing the story a story of a girl telling her father in a series of impressions about a boy she loved who killed himself and why…) and he is laughing he is laughing with his little girl his younger daughter the boy’s (Mason’s?) sister he’s picking her up from school and there’s snow on the ground and they’re throwing snowballs at each other or rather he is letting her hit him with snowballs and he bends (he bends down low) to adjust her hat to cover her ears and the smile is not just in the face but in the eyes and I see him I see him turn the corner with her. They are heading home.

you got to wow them in the end

But is that it? What about all the loose ends? What did V realize when that Amnesia Haze was delivered by George out on the golf course? And this Tale of Two Cats business—why two? And where’s the other cat? Why did he love one and hurt the other? I have seen fear in a cat’s eyes. And what concern is that of yours? Who is loved and who is hated—everybody won’t be treated all the same… Ah, she says for what the mind believes the eyes see and the ears hear and don’t talk to me about power or even love and grief (these burdens we carry) because really all you can do is laugh (like that father playing with his little girl in the snow) knowledge is not power nor is it good and evil it’s a joke really a comedy because what you know is what you see what you hear (however it be misdirected) and this my friend (you—I was always talking to you—this the engagement deferred in all that other entertaining trash you read for yes it does touch on hot topics of debate but always in something so unbelievable it doesn’t touch you as real as you really you and this is what I’m doing here making it so you can’t say Oh, it’s just a story… or is it?) this is an illusion a conjuring because if you play the victim guess what you’ll always be the victim the role is the role it always plays out just as immutable as time and the river but the role is your choice you get to pick your part out of a set of parameters (your costume what you walk out to on the set) so pick it well because the truth is knowledge is not power it’s only the illusion of who has control now and really it is a burden a responsibility but ask anyone and they’ll tell you they want to know we just can’t stand it if we think someone knows something we don’t know I mean my God they might be getting one over on us and that’s the comedy of it the sick joke because all the truth in the world adds up to one big lie and whatever you think you’re getting over on somebody or whatever’s gnawing at you about what you think someone else knows—it’s a fool’s game—but we all play it we have to so in that misdirected mirror of what the mind believes don’t tell me it’s not your fault it’s everybody’s fault you just got to see it see it with a sense of humor and she says ah change is nothing but the moment’s thorn you make a choice based on today even when you know that may not be how you see it tomorrow do you really want to be passion’s fool?

Advertisements