and no no none of us is immune none of us have the focus the sincerity to wake up in the morning without a yesterday behind us and with our eyes open say yes I know now I remember how it felt and I will not let it touch me again those things of this body what it thought was truth yesterday now a lie no it don’t look at it that way it ain’t one big long line unerring unswerving with what was behind always behind how it goes on our trial our pain our joy just the chance to continue the verse no it don’t see time like that because it sees a lot of startovers lots of things that seem like endings but really they’s just so something else can happen so you can come back to it and in its frustration and boredom always on a one track mind in its season taking what it sees and like a lonely hunter the rest fades away that one thing becoming all we say to our man you ain’t hard to figure out life so full of juices all that water the patterns of emotions I am above it all that you feel weak not in thought knowing that that line well it might go straight ahead and straight behind but it’s got some curves to it some highs some lows how it all comes in waves the hasty dramas of when it all goes wrong when it doesn’t go as planned you don’t get your way the universe seemingly at odds making the effort difficult a pain a chore and you have to exert all your energy just to focus on the trivial problems that need your attention and when one is fixed another appears and you just want to say I will stop I will not move only to see it all slip back into the recesses of night where you return and close your eyes to say to tomorrow No no it won’t it won’t hurt and while you sleep it laughs the dream feeling pretty good when you ain’t seeing time in any lengths…  And that’s why I stayed with him why I stayed with Charlie even when he moved us out of Harrisburg to the Shady Rest and he didn’t want to take nothing nothing with us.  He said we’d start over.  Can’t say I didn’t get a little mad.  I had to give up all my stuff but he took that painting.  Maybe it put it all into focus for him maybe he thought he could go back to it back to that dream how looking at it looking at anything we call beautiful makes us feel we’re immune to it–that damn line.  I don’t see what he saw in it though.  After all it was just a pair of shoes…

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