college is a sophisticated refinement of what you learn in high school. it fades ever so fast in the making of money. you think you know it all or you just don’t care. you’ve been lied to and now you know the truth that something has to die and god forbid you become a writer because then you write to expose the lie. write long enough you realize you’ve become a liar knowing you’re still being lied to. for sometimes we prefer power over love. even in small children from an early age (our children should never surprise us) if love is not given the alternative enjoyment is to seek control. to gain respect for our cleverness even if it is love we want. calling it chance sometimes we examine our world sometimes we try to change it. and based on the situation we all choose our tools to implement this examination or change–our world being people. if God is love we should glorify love. not money. this is the basis of a writer whose motto is to tell the truth. a writer wants to triumph over love. there was so much Matthew Malachi wanted to tell Kenneth Dean. but most of all he wanted to say he was sorry.

you have to make something to find out what’s wrong with it. look at your bestsellers. if you took an educated guess most books on the shelf at Wal-mart or the Dollar Tree aren’t written above the third grade level. the untold truth is what we are given as information what entertains us the intentional derivative is that they who share it dumb it down. yet there is still something intelligent there–an intelligent plot–for what makes you turn the page is a temptation. you are tempted to listen, tempted to watch. tempted to read on. it pleads to your basic instincts. Kenneth Dean looked at his interaction with Matthew Malachi as a man playing cards and he saw him again as on that last day the day they graduated:

yet you love her anyway
yes… yes I do. what you love the most inspires what you hate about yourself
and if you died? if she died?
I am not so small of soul that I have to be missed, but…
what would you miss?
her laughter

and what lightens the soul is that easy yoke of lugubrious seriousness like when someone is telling you a joke and you’re already ready to laugh just waiting on the punchline and it’s infectious you want to be around it the effects of it–the effects of a free soul a soul not yet hurt by love or that has and wants to protect you from it…

for she is beloved

yes you have to make something to find out what’s wrong with it. and so it is the way of this world. to go about fixing things and in this process it’s always the same the same story told in multifarious ways: the story of good and evil–whether you bluff or go all in. and a fold–well, you never fold on the last of your money. you’re just betting on the next hand. And Kenneth Dean says:

I saw his father and I knew him…

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