and maybe at my age I can’t help but find it funny. how things get mistranslated how our history changes because of this and I remember not for faith is in things hoped things unseen and so maybe there ain’t no love in faith doubt yes but no love fact is doubt let’s you know you have faith and faith without love is what faith is kinda like for love is a prejudice I remember not Yes the difference between I forget and what I remember no more because that was always a head-scratcher for me how God forgets I know I can’t do it and neither can you less’n you’re a hypocrite maybe why they say it’s easy to forgive but it ain’t so easy to forget to treat the wrongs done to us like we have no memory of it and I see years months days hours go by and I sing as David does Create in me a clean heart Oh God I need you Oh I need you Every hour I need you…and you see this in her eyes in Bethany’s eyes as she stares not up at the ceiling how you can lose your mind doing that when nothing else in your body moves that love that peace which passeth understanding our desire to hide our nakedness what hospice takes from you what we carry with us back to the earth again our pride the trouble with how all things hang on too long the life of man in His brooding image how death the sickness unto death ain’t that of the body but the function of the mind the soul in despair the souls of those who suffer the bereavement how it ain’t no end and it ain’t no beginning neither but more like a movement out of a house or a town how we all relate it to oneself truth not objective but subjective the truth of an individual aligning itself with an I will or I will not her eyes Bethany’s eyes opaque and then clear like glass in the light of the natural the truth how easy it is to have faith in something in someone you don’t love the works of it dead… Here now Bethany I got to roll you over the nurse says Used to call them clysters though even in this day and age I doubt it saves you none from embarrassment… I’ve had it done before Bethany says When my children were born and to her eyes comes the memory of a toothless old woman wearing a hat plumed with a chicken feather her name… I’m using luke-warm water the nurse says It’s more gentle…

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