And who am I to disagree? The thing is you can say it was this or that try to put your finger on it and apologize in apologetics and if you had more time what you had to say would be shorter than it is long but all this the brief tumultuous marriage David and Bethany had the children which were born and the children which died so that by 1964 when they began to dam the Sabine river this finished in 1966 shortly after Solomon’s birth in all that happened in those in between years as the children grew you can ask who was Maddie that David and Benjy went to her and why they went to her was that Bethany’s doing you can lay blame and cry out for justice but the truth is all that remains is a story you just want a story and a story is all you’re gonna get. Because healing begins when the other ends when one story ends and they who tell it must pass it on must pay it forward so that when you ask What time is it? what you want is to say something started here something finished but as you go back and forth in time as you visit an event a birth a death the ambiguity of a meeting at some crossroads the fact is you just get older while Time remains the same and you can’t change any of it so suffice it say it worked. It worked for David and Bethany. And maybe you know a little more about Benjy. What was heard in the birth of Dulcinea’s child in her marriage to a white man. Why Maddie died the way she did. Why Aaron had to die. And I could go back and revise. I could even put in some of David’s songs a little more on the guitar he kept and guitar he burned the guitar which was broken into pieces. But instead I will leave this here what little there is to be said on misery despair and I could say that’s what it’s all about and once it this it is always this but then I would be leaving out the ineffable purity of hope the lie that in fiction there is truth and in truth there are many lies so why not end it in a story the last words of Marie Toussaint to Bethany and what time was it what year doesn’t really matter what happened before to lead to it what must have happened after because it was told all this merely idiosyncratic like a cross on a necklace mixed with animal bones or a wooden cross in a pocket left to float along the muddy current of a river soon to cease flowing and what’s made by Man or God doesn’t matter for it is all for your amusement and the source the source is the same for you me God we are all one One Soul and you don’t have a soul you are a soul in this is the inestimable difference the lack in all your knowledge. And so the old woman said and I (Benjy and Bethany) saw… a dream:

and the parable which was stolen

… Hell and the sight was horrifying. Row after row of tables laden with platters of sumptuous food yet the people seated around the tables were pale and emaciated moaning in hunger. And as I came closer I understood their predicament. Every person held a full spoon but both arms were splinted with wooden slats so he could not bend either elbow to bring the food to his mouth. It broke my heart to hear the tortured groans of these poor people as they held their food so near but could not consume it. Then I saw Heaven. I was surprised to see the same setting I had witnessed in Hell – row after row of long tables laden with food. But in contrast to Hell the people here in Heaven were sitting contentedly talking with each other obviously sated from their sumptuous meal. And as I came closer I was amazed to discover that here too each person had his arms splinted on wooden slats that prevented him from bending his elbows. How then did they manage to eat? As I watched a man picked up his spoon and dug it into the dish before him. Then he stretched across the table and fed the person across from him! The recipient of this kindness thanked him and returned the favor by leaning across the table to feed his benefactor. And I saw I suddenly understood. Heaven and Hell offer the same circumstances and conditions. The critical difference is in the way the people treat each other. I ran back to Hell to share this solution with the poor souls trapped there. I whispered in the ear of one starving man You do not have to go hungry. Use your spoon to feed your neighbor and he will surely return the favor and feed you. You expect me to feed the detestable man sitting across the table? said the man angrily. I would rather starve than give him the pleasure of eating! So then I understood and I saw God’s wisdom…

in the ears of Solomon

And so ends the story of what happened in 1975. The year I was born the year Dulcinea’s child was born Benjy dead nine years Aaron dead Maddie dead and Solomon nine years old. Eight years since David Threnody’s last album and his return to a crossroads in Mississippi. So ends the story so another can begin so the healing (sexual healing) can begin. And everybody everybody is looking for something. It’s just a matter of what you find is what you get. A matter of what you’re willing to lose…

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