So what was written? Sometimes you don’t understand another’s knowledge. Their knowledge of the trees and the animals and the stars what we all crave knowledge of our universal nature universal unity how the knowledge of life is greater than life the knowledge of happiness greater than happiness the depth of the love there like what we could have for our fellow man. For there is no greater love than to give one’s life for another. How we’re all just dirt. Thinking of ourselves that we are much more than that because somebody loves us because God loves us… And maybe a woman should write of it–a mother–Bethany. What was written in her journal the year Dulcinea’s child–Abe–was born her reflections on Benjy who would have been twenty-seven that year and Solomon who was nine how she felt about David Threnody after all those years the guitar he gave and the guitar he burned her conversation with the old voodoo woman Marie Toussaint who gave birth to them both on what happened with her only living son and what he (Benjy) yearned for in going to that cabin back in the woods along the Sabine when he was perhaps fifteen and was first in love with a girl first having that contact with the trees and the animals and the stars a connection not just in thought alone but also in some physical way–the union–the union which creates one flesh… And maybe why he wanted it. Why Benjy wanted his father’s guitar. The guitar with a bullet hole in it which the Devil tuned on a moonless night at some crossroads in his father’s past. When he (David) first loved:

    June 22nd, 1975

–And she said, “Come and see…” and I saw. The earth as it was before. When we desired for nothing, but were calm. When we did not aspire for the knowledge of life because our lives were fulfilled. When we were playful and happy as children. When love was among us when we bore our children. When there were no quarrels among us, nor jealousy–we didn’t even understand what that meant. And though there was death there was no sorrow, no tears, only love–for our earthly union was not severed by the grave. When we sang songs to each other, solemn and exalted songs, which now we can’t understand, which our minds cannot fathom, but our hearts feel it even more–when once we could love without pain… But now I see I am corrupted. I corrupted this earth. And to that first question, “Where are you?” I learned to lie. And the lie entered my heart and I loved it. And soon I learned of jealousy. Cruelty. Soon the first blood was spilt. Unions appeared, but they were unions one against the other–the idea of honor was born and each union had a flag and reproach and recrimination began. I knew shame and made shame a virtue. I began to abuse animals and the animals withdrew into the woods and became my enemy. I longed for suffering and said the truth came by it and science appeared. When I was angry I began to talk about brotherhood and humanity and conceived those ideas, and when crime was committed I invented justice and prescribed laws to maintain it and to maintain those laws the death penalties to enforce them. I didn’t even want to believe that I had once been innocent and happy and called it a dream. And I said to myself, “Knowledge is higher than feeling and the consciousness of life is higher than life and science will give me wisdom and wisdom will reveal to me laws and the knowledge of the laws of happiness is higher than happiness.” And I loved myself above all others and proclaimed this suffering was beauty and this–this became the song I sang… And she said:How to find paradise again you do not know. It cannot be expressed in words. And knowledge? That is what must be fought. For I will tell you this, an old truth repeated and read over and over, yet it is discovered and in it you will instantly find how to live–love God and love others like you love yourself–that is all. That is all you need…

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