–I know I can’t be free… And the old woman says:

Is that what you think you’ve been tempted with? What your father said before you were born? Ain’t none of us free! Not because we ain’t and not because of color or money but cuz we don’t wanna be. God gave you a gift. But you don’t want it. You don’t want the burdensome choice ‘tween good and evil though that’s what you thought you wanted to be wise. Instead it just brought confusion and suffering so many cares and unanswerable problems… Because you see death now. Because the secret to being who you is is not only to live but to have something to live for. And if you don’t have that you’d rather destroy yourself than remain on earth. I know what you want, boy! You want what everthing that lives and breathes craves and hungers for from the time that it is born–you want to find someone to worship. From the beginning of Time we’ve set up gods and said to one another, “This is my God. Put away yours or I will kill you…” And so to the end of Time it will be until the last idol has fallen and there is no one left for us to hand over our freedom to until there is nothing left but our guilt our deception nothing left but our suffering because we’ve been forced to lie to endure the freedom we find so dreadful–the gift that you me all of us have rejected as infallible that sign from heaven in the words of the One who said: Man shall not live by bread alone… And Benjy said:

–You’re wrong old woman. I don’t want to worship but to be worshipped. I wanted her to love me… And she said
–Oh, man! You’s a bigger fool than I thought. Don’t you know you be tempting God? And he said
–God is owned by all of us. As are all idols. Otherwise He would have come down off the cross and enslaved us all. And she said
–Is that what you’re still waitin’ on? For some miracle to come? You think that will set you free? And he said
–Yes I want to be loved as children love and be allowed to sin. And she said
–How hard it is for one man who knows the truth! Yes, and what doth it profit a man… And he said
–But I’m not angry anymore. I’m not angry at her… I love them. I love them all. Even when they laugh at me. Somehow I love them more than ever…

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