And Benjy said:

–But I wanted… And she said
–Shore… Shore… I’m sure she knew what you wanted too.

For there is a fate it takes strength to face to acknowledge the sum of the past of what you are to sense the underlying essence to gain true knowledge and know no action of yours can change this the question What is truth? in the death of God rejecting objective reality knowledge contingent and conditional and finding meaning again… For where are you and where am I when we look to a determined focal point in the distance is what you see and what I see the same? It is wise in death to laugh. And so you must love fate. Then and only then is an end established. Because what is common is creating a value even if it what I value and what you value may be different… I am different from my father. Yet I am the same. For if my life were to happen again it can only happen the same. And so if my father hid something then so must I… And he said:

–What did I want? And she said
–You didn’t want to fail like your father did. But don’t you see, chil’? You are what you do. And if you want to be what you is you got live over what you was. You got to stare into the horror to affirm your life. To be who you is…

… and even God cannot change the past. It was is and ever shall be. I have been baptized in that river. What is unchanging in the course of things and yet always changes. And this world this world is child’s play. And like a rope over an abyss if I fail I cannot say I didn’t burn burn and even if we have not seen signs from heaven for twenty centuries I must add I must say too as my father did before me what the heart doth say…