And Dulcinea speaking out of alleviation out of an honesty that always has in the back of its mind a learning core an I was this and I’ll continuing being it but let me listen and by our conversation I will hear back all that I am even the I am you will not receive even though you hear me say it I just wanting to know that I’ve said it even if it’s not received because I will not remember what you say but I will remember what I say and then a pause for if I was given the choice to give up what I love the most would it mean lengthening your life by one day the honesty in this the question we never ask as I speak and then you speak in turn leading to what I say again what you take out of it and what I take the truth that you love what you can’t have that we belong together for a time—“You should be raped.  The sympathy is not monotypic.  A male pattern is imprinted on your brain what I needed self-esteem from my father for to be taken when you don’t want to be took how I remember how it happened just like I remember my grandfather’s face when he found me—the trust”—(Trust? the lover asks with his eyes looking up from where he was looking down her words (Dulcinea’s) bringing his eyes to meet hers then looking down again like a pool to collect her memory the moment when he looks in her eyes the only time he exists for now is not a time for him to talk because that might lead her to go somewhere else it with it—the story—and he (the lover) wants this to be more than just a random sampling how you can pick a topic and have a discussion and it can be judged and then judged again without ever losing the initial hypothesis that when the discussion is over all that’s resolved is in general the response of you or me is not wide but as it narrows and becomes more specific we see individuals and he (the lover) wants her to be specific)—“because when you want to be found it’s easy and don’t get me wrong I like to be kissed hard but it does something to you when you’re betrayed when you become an object and not a person with feelings and we all have it in us: to treat people as objects.  It’s as easy as being found.   How you lose your identity and in a sense all the morals which come with it how if even one person laughs it must be okay this pure contempt we can have for another life their likes and dislikes maybe not much different but see you don’t have this identity anymore where you identify instead you walk with something that isn’t human so I know now I can’t ever feel sorry for myself because the moment I do I lose my identity my humanity the injustice I feel cutting me off from the exculpable don’t do this to me and I won’t do it to you but he was my cousin and I trusted him and that’s the worst thing you can do to a person—you take away any vestige of control they have you violate their dignity leaving them feeling powerless and there is no remorse for this only a contempt for weakness and if you die I will take even your clothes and leave you naked as the day you were born—that’s the worst thing you can do to a person and it’s in all sex and death: the misguided love of fear because some men only ask one question—Are you a killer?  You should be raped.  Because then you have to ask the question if you wanted it in some way and that is a terrible question to ask like when you hide do you really want to be found why I remember his (my father’s father) face in his question of ‘Where are you?’ in the gone wild lies of all you have to do is ask forgiveness and find your humanity again…  You see?  It takes a lot to scare me now.”

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