And maybe David’s life happened at thirty.  That birthday he sold his copyright in New Orleans and drove across the Sabine with word his children were being born.  And what was it?  What was 1948?  For he’d already sinned already committed adultery nearly two years since Pete Southhouse was killed and Popovitch closing that story of his return to Mississippi some four years since first coming there at nineteen.  So eleven years since that crossroads and the time of Benjy’s birth and then seven years until his father’s death and then another eleven years when Benjy died David then forty-eight.  And in 1967 he returned.  He returned to that crossroads deaf in one year—so what was it?  Maybe we need to know what happened in 1951 almost halfway between Benjy’s birth and the death of his twin and Duke Threnody’s death in 1955.  We need to know what happened when David was thirty-three if his life was just anti-climactic after that this some three and half years after Bethany divorced him and some three and half years before he came to live with his mother after his father’s death.  Maybe there’s a count to it a time signature a song.  Maybe there’s a fall from grace.

What we do know as to why Bethany divorced him is he couldn’t hold a job.  Sure he tried working in his father’s pawn shop and he tried other odd jobs to offset the unstable income from his music, which is why he made that trip to New Orleans to sell his copyright and maybe we can’t say can’t name the victim here.  Whether it was Bethany one child dead and the other but an infant still feeding from her breast or David wondering what was just as to why his records made no money because you see it was in 1951 that he cut his second album and Bethany was willing to give him another chance.  For if there is a victim there is a sinner.  And this maybe more than anything why David couldn’t get his head around it why when his father died he came home to live with his mother—a loss of faith.  He was broken.  They had broken him.  They some indiscriminate world where job after job hiding his music the unresolved passion of it his royalty check from Piety Street Records just twenty-six dollars in 1950 but still the small world after all of notoriety in the workplace like one job where he went door to door selling venetian blinds and a woman answering with a look of recognition not interested at all in what he was selling but that she had seen him in Soulard during Mardi Gras—singing—and she sang too in fact she was pretty good on the guitar even playing in her church and would he like to do a song with her…  Yes, these things.  Something David wished was just dead but it would not die and so even as a door to door salesman he had to face that cold sell.  The cold sell of his fortunes for ever having a guitar.  Jonathon Bonnor’s guitar.  The Gibson ES-150 which he took out of his father’s pawn shop window the day he signed Bethany’s divorce papers.  He just couldn’t get his head around it.  How if one sinned and asked for forgiveness what happened to the other.  The other partner to the crime.  For if both sinned and one asked for forgiveness did it not necessitate the other unforgiven?  You see David had to cut another deal.  In 1951 he cut another deal.  This time in Austin.  But this wasn’t another deal where he had to sign away his copyright again.  He had to sell something else when he turned thirty-three.  He had to sell-out to the idea that hope was evil.