Popovitch smiles.

POPOVITCH

Okay, buddy…  I don’t know this for sure, but just speaking for myself—the only way you truly sense that is with a woman, and it just happens sometimes…  The children.  The children make you do that, make you know that…  And then you see them lose that, you see them grow—little by little—making you wonder about all those times, all those memories when you laughed and thought it was cute—that thing you want to help, help them to know…  And then they don’t ask for help.  They learn how asking for help doesn’t make you learn anything.  Because somewhere, somehow along the way they were alone—they felt alone, and had to learn this—what to know for a situation—so when it happens again they don’t have to feel that way… Perhaps I failed her.  Maybe I gave her this feeling—the first feeling of it, when the process began—of no longer asking help for certain things…  Funny how you grow old.  You learn of so many situations you forget them all.  And you learn to know your body well.  Diet.  Sleep.  Going without something.  And getting used to something…  I can’t believe I’m still afraid sometimes.  Like it all hasn’t happened before…  and she will never see that.

PRIEST

Sir, I may be a young man…  There still may be much that hasn’t happened to me.  But do you remember what you laughed at?  Do you remember what it was like to be 4?  Do you remember what your child lost?  Do you remember what you as a child lost?

POPOVITCH

You don’t remember what you lost.  But you remember everything around it.

PRIEST

I think there are moments when you still remember.  That’s why you remember why you laughed.  Why you laughed at a child.  And you know that laughter…  Where the child laughs with you…  I may be young, but I know of pride.  I’ve felt it.  The burden of it.  The euphoria…  Where you right every memory.  Where you look out at the world like everyone sees you…  I’ve felt its deep cuts.  That aloneness you speak about…  But you know what I’ve found?  There’s nothing to look for.  There’s nothing to learn.  Have you ever felt like having no pride but having no shame?  And not carelessness—just no pride…  It truly is free.  Those moments.  Those moments when you feel that.  When you feel like those moments when you watched your child grow up.  When you laughed.  And made them laugh…

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